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Friday, December 31, 2010

Delusional

I am addicted to the pain, tending to the flowers in the their valor...
The love, it drove me mad, made the world grow jealous,
walking tall, breaking the rules that pay, the grates fold,
my angel made the heavens green with envy, she wasn't that many...

The pain, drove away itself with the dangerous love affair...
fire, it glowed in me, burning the world as it grew...
her feet, as angels should be they were, without these strings,
i was tripping, then i was running, with my feet on the ground...

The world then grew out of control, shaking with rage...
the pain it drove back in, the strings then turned to chains,
and the angel, I had bound, to this earth a thing unearthly...
The world then I saw, the pain made me see, was angry at me,

I horror that I was, I was gonna take the angel with me...
I broke the rules, thats why I didnt care, thinking...
The chains now I broke, angel just remember how to fly...
the pain, it just now hurting... I am addicted to the pain...

Sunday, December 26, 2010

SUNDAY

phew.... a day off finally.... this job is getting to me, its killing all the other activities that could have done other wise.... life is getting tougher...

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

All I Wanna Do

The haze felt like a daze, a nightmare walking
talking to me in my sleep, breaking through
to the reality, this really is just a frugality
with a life so sparse, its hardly enough...

The demons, my demons, are after me
like they really wanna feel what is inside
of me, there is nothing but emptyness
and blood, so hollow, so shallow..

this is how I feel, and all I wanna do is just
now feel, that fact of time flowing by
life, wasted in the glimpse on an eye....
weaving through my despair, her light...

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Complicated

With the job and the studies and another thing, life has become too complicated... its now either rest of these things... If I choose rest, I miss out on these things, and If I do any of these things, I miss out on rest... If I knew grown up life would be so complicated I would never have grown up...

Lets see, ummm... done with shopping for clothes... just the shoes left, I'll get them next Sunday... You see, the thing is that even on a half day, I come home at 7pm... so... its not cool at all... I can't run away, its complicated... and as with the other things, they are way way waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too complicated right now... I am hoping they'll sort out in a bit or so...

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Roads

Yayyyy... I started a job... yesterday... but it was hectic... no buses on roads, so coming home was a fuss as well... And who said that the first day is the least hectic day??? I had to work on the first day too... plus they gave an early off to the whole staff, except for the accounts dept. and I had to stay till 6 with the other people in the dept....

But you see, when a mentor approves of something, then you just gotta do it... so I'll just do this too...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Happy Ending Away...

Filled to the brim with joy,
unpredictable about the end,
whats done is done, c'mon
just let it go, for once...
let it be, all alone...

smile, for the world to see,
pearls found in the sea,
so many, looking at you
in awe, be pleased...
life, forever it remains...

It becomes harder to ignore,
the sorrow growing in inside,
the beauty, don't you love
it, did you think it true...
let it be, all alone...

End

papers khatam, papers khatam, papers khatam...

Monday, December 13, 2010

Blood Blood...

Tomorrow... its the last paper, and probably the end of something to do...

Friday, December 10, 2010

Simply Put

Wishes come true, Wishes are a lie,
Think again,  cause your 'bout to die,
Think again, Now really think true,
I would mean it, If I were you...

The world is simple, its really strange,
Every fucked up thing is a bit deranged,
Every leisure, I spend with you,
The decay corruption is next in queue...

Listen now and listen good,
What you do is simply understood
Stand tall, now smile wide,
All the world is by your side...

As is said in the times gone by,
fate and life are striding by,
the world is all wish to see,
turned to cider and ashes it should be...
The sun now comes, with it hope
this disturbing tale,
you will some other time grope...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Icicle Hearts and the Frozen Queen

Wings spread wide, Sickle by the side
Eyes glowing red, Just like dread...
She sits upon her Silver Throne,
Frozen Queen of Bloody Reign...

Across the seven Seas, the Arid Breeze
and the Feeling of ease, Open your Eyes
your Senses are to be Pleased...
the lofty senses, all left Unused....

Wings spread wide, Sickle by the side
Eyes glowing red, Just like dread...
She sits upon her Silver Throne,
Frozen Queen of Bloody Reign...

The World now turns... do You
have the Keys, to Unlock Fate...
Gate the to Hate, turn their Hearts
Feeling Nothing, Cradled in Death

Wings spread wide, Sickle by the side
Eyes glowing red, Just like dread...
She sits upon her Silver Throne,
Frozen Queen of Bloody Reign...

Open your eyes, Now See, Look
the Frozen is a Prisoner of beauty
the icicle hearts locked Her away,
with Wings that cannot Fly,
Death Sits Idly By, to Free the one
it Loves so much, to Stare at Neigh...

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Silly

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,

Courtesy Anon.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Fever Before the Flood

Got a paper on the 7th and I am feeling feverish... that sucks... really, I still have to go through the whole book... and my eyes are tired...

Friday, December 3, 2010

Khali Khali

I feel like writing, but I just don't know what to write about... its a totally blank slate there in my head.... *sigh

Monday, November 29, 2010

Friday, November 26, 2010

Shape Shift and Trick. The Past

Reminiscent about the past, the time when friends meant friends and even the sour was sweet; that is what I want to remember, but I can't... It's simply that I cahen't remember the past, my past. The time, that time, I just can't remember it... its like a blank slate, nothing written on it, even remotely... life it seems, did not exist before the world began to end... and once it did, the thoughts are clear, the memories all here... this is strange...
I realized with when I was talking to a friend... a song actually brought this up... the friend pointed out that this is nostalgic, and it got me thinking, whats nostalgic for me... and well, all the time when I said I was nostalgic in the past, I was not really nostalgic, simply remembering something from the recent past... The feeling...
Simply said, I can make up my past in to whatever I want... nothing there, they are just images, snaps... blanks waiting to filled, events that need stories.... I think I can be whoever I want in my memories... but then, whats the use of pretending to be someone else... confusing... i think I'll improvise, make a story right there and then...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Getnik or Gietnak

In the withered world, so far
What I see is the dead now dying,
Their lives forgotten, their souls now rotten.
Their hopes washed ashore,
Broken down, who to adore...
The lying faces, their scheming minds.

Do you think that in this light the world will fight,
I mean honestly c'mon its just a game of might,
All that it will take to win a fight is a little fright
Strength no more, all who adore, lost faith,

And it started raining,
In the world that was draining,
Their fighting words, the lying hands,
They are crying cold, their hands wrought gold.
The keys then cling, and the silver watch ring
Life went by, and on a little lie...

getnik or gietnak, verily lie lay,
Now its time for you to say...
Bye bye little doll, made with clay..
Play with fire, play with clay...
Whatever you do you cannot delay...

Monday, November 22, 2010

The Warm Winter Nights

Winter isn't cold any more... like other things I could have blamed it all on the fact that now with age I am becoming more and more dull, but that dosen't explain the fact that I do not feel cold. you know what is the most disturbing part, I have a cold and soar throat, but still its not cold... why why why...

oi hoi... killed a bloody dengue wala machar... aww... nai koi common ki species hai... lets see what else is new... nothing really... remember the result before eid I mentioned, well most of my friends are now planning of running away from pakistan after that, it was that scary...

there ain't any inspiration to write a good post, its not cold... why isn't it cold....

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Expectedly Unexpected like Expected

Sadness is a virtue of human life, being sad means that one is making progress in life... living it day by day, piece by piece... so yea, f*** you... and you, not you and you...

C'mon yaar its suppose to be cold already, and the only place cool right now is the fridge... whaaaat is wrong with the world, well its also wrong it me... eid was boring as i had expected then sidelined and then sidelined the sideline, repeating the process a couple of times until a song swirled in my head. and then boom...

Yaar I am honestly sleepy, I gotta study for the papers or else I'll flunk again.. and then I gotta complete the projects I got, but before that I gotta finish how I met your mother and start with 2.5 men, the new season is good I hear... don't really feel like writing, its so sleepy... nice and sleepy....

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

EID MUBARAK

EID MUBARAK EVERYONE... have fun, and even if you can't pretend you do.......

Waiting For The World to End

Look, there, watch out, and think again
do what you do best, wait for it to end.
the machine, its gonna break,oil up again
ready to churn, that thing's going wrong....

The world is sad, and that is a fact
go crazy again, friend
the real goal here, again
waiting for the world to end....

see, don't look, things are just right
speeding down on the highway, life
its cruising by me, here right now,
turn yourself around, haze abound

look around, what do you see
the world is ending
goal achieved, now go again
find another ruse, while
waiting for the world to end

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Mufta Mufta Mufta

Results due in a few days or may be today... hopefully today... God I wish someone passes, its been a while since someone in my gathering passed the bloody ICAP result, I left it for the same reason, but my friends are still there, I just need one to pass, then we'll go over an rob the poor soul dry... hmmm... yea that is as plain as it is, we'll simple rob him... hmmm... but it won't be easy, we'll have to cunningly trick him, most probably we will have to lay out a bait to lure him in to the prying hands of us... hmmm... on second though........ no NO, no second thoughts, its outright justice, the one who passes will be robbed the friends..., its the universal law, the course of nature...

On a more somber note, the world is ending, but hopefully we'll get to slaughter the lamb before that... yaaaayyyy... and ummm.. yea tea is almost done, I am not addicted just need a fix to pick me up, that be all...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Pathetic. Depressing. And Utterly Regressive

That is the fucking state of our fucking nation, why don't we all go extinct just now... make room for productive races...

Proud I am

I am so proud of myself... I setup a home network all by my self without any help, from anyone... yyaaaaaaaaayyyyyy

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Chop Chop Dilemma

Its just plain old confusion, but calling it a dilemma makes its sounds important like... the confusion is simple, I can either spend the EID watching TV, probably catch up on some sitcoms... or I can go out and have fun, see people goof up, make fun of/with friends, etc etc... hmmm... i'll toss a coin later... lately I don't feel like writing, even when I want to I can't think of writing... another issue... and I think I cured my touchpad's sensitivity issue, but hey you never know... and then there is the issue of shopping, and then there is study... so many dilemmas and such a little life... aeee... and there is that book about nationalism from the lending library... damn, its all messed up...

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Disturbed

That is what I am at the moment... empty, nothing coming in to my mind... its empty like blank... *just staring at my own reflection...

Friday, November 5, 2010

7736Z

I got me self a laptop.. yaaaayyyyyy... now I just gotta customize it to my liking, the data is on a friends pc, i'll get it by tonight... my desktop burned, it out on warranty now... sad really... now I know saddar better than the back of my hand, I been there so many times now... It was fun though... back to work now, paper from december

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Monster

Now at this point in time, I wish to be my old stoic selfish narcissistic form...... 

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Building on the Right has Fallen

This, its a small chant... look watch out,
the words don't rock... their rhythm is not,
its now on a break... an eternity it broke after,
life... wasted it a bit... but wait, the life...
it meant something...but now its lost,
the meaning within it... heads be bobbing,
now left and then right, first up and then down...
the trace its almost complete...
the words they make a bleh...
but there's more to it that meets the eye...
ha ha ha, don't over do it, it ain't there...
the things that the mind just concocts,
its maddening, almost nice... like...
but life, took that chance and now its free...
tapping, clapping, cracking, racketing,
thats right its blasting...
the fact that the building on the right has fallen....
life was just about to go...
it took some time off now my turn...
to go tapping clapping cracking.........

Monday, October 25, 2010

And So We Dance...

When we say study, it means work,
When we say work, it means money,
When we say money, it means spending
When we say credit, it means debt,
When we say debt, it means bailiff,
We agree to being in deep sh*t
When we say love, it means kids,
When we say forever, it means divorce.
When we say family, we say grief, because misfortune never comes alone.
When we say crisis, we talk about the wold, famine and then third world.
When we say tiredness, we  talk about waking up still deaf from sleepless night
So we just go out to forget all our problems.
So we just dance...
So you say that it’s over because the only thing worse would be death.
When you finally think you’ll make it, there’s more and more!
Ecstasy means a problem, problems or just music.
It grabs you by the guts, it takes hold of your head and then you pray for it to end.
But your body is no heaven so you block your ears even more.
And then you yell even louder and it goes on…
So we just sing
Lalalalalala, Lalalalalala,
So we just sing
Lalalalalala, Lalalalalala,
So we just sing
So we just sing
And then only when it’s over, then we dance

Picked it up from a quarter-life-crisis and its... well I am gonna make sure its etched in me h'ead...

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Little Devil Murderer

Little Devil sword's man,
murderer of a hundred men...
look, oh look, there she walks,
without the slightest word of worry,
oh wait she looks like in a hurry...

the world's just awfully fucked...
but wait, there he walks,
with that bare chested strut...
oh good lord, look at that burrow,
the one just underneath that furrow...

Little Devil sword's man,
murderer of a hundred men...
look, oh look, there she walks,
without the slightest word of worry,
oh wait she looks like in a hurry...

Me and my thoughts, all astray,
the dogs now know the way...
watch out for the sign post,
the directions they be not,
they are naught for froth...

Little Devil sword's man,
murderer of a hundred men...
look, oh look, there she walks,
without the slightest word of worry,
oh wait she looks like in a hurry...

The olden stories now rest in lyre,
she burned right through the pyre,
dreaming, good night, keep it alright...
She ain't not coming for you tonight,
count your luck, your blessing is up....

Little Devil Murderer, it is not a man...

look, oh look, there she walks,
without the slightest word of worry,
oh wait she looks like in a hurry...
that's when she last laughed...

Saturday, October 23, 2010

FireFox 4

Its cool, its awesome and its quite sexy.... its the new firefox 4.... i jus had to get it... its not that i had to, i had to... the old version crashed and well... its better to get the new one now... in other news.... its the same fucking life... what could possibly change, expect for the fact that a few blogs have blocked me out and the friends went out to lunch and completely skipped over me and another friend.... all other information is irrelevant...

Thursday, October 21, 2010

It well... sorta kinda may have....

I felt insulted I did honest to God, but god bless the turks and the egyptians for investing the seesha, who ever made gambling and my own fucked up beliefs, it was gone in a jiff.... but still why would you stop that... It was such a nice thing, I found inspiration in it, but then u ruined it all my not going on... damn the world... but I like chaos peddlers... lovely people charming, but crazy propa' fucked in the h'ead... and I learned to play another game in cards... and made strategies... :D


and in a continuation... m listening to freakyli numbing songs... and for some fucked up reason the guys at the college are now calling in a dresscode... WTF....

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Predictions 2010

They are more like predictions for the next few months... so here is the list

  • countless more people are gonna die
  • no one is gonna die
  • marshal law
  • democracy prevails
  • political parties happy
  • ethnic strife
  • curfew implemented
  • party state declared
  • its gona be great
  • total fuck gona happen
so, yea these are my predictions, if none of 'em come true... well fuck the system then... its not my bad... :P... ooooo ooooo and I also see a foreign blue hand involved, may be green depending whether its martin or reptilian....

Misery. Agony. Toil. Life

Misery, have you ever counted your days...
Don't freight, Don't laugh, limited your rife,
very little you are, let me set you free...
While they get you, why don't you, live life

Agony, have you ever counted your days...
don't hustle, don't scheme, soak in the dye,
stop that breaking in, your no deeper than me...
While they get you, why don't you,  stop

Toil, have you ever counted your days...
Don't sweat, don't frail, limited your rove,
silence is killing you, completely intertwined...
While they get you, why don't you,play

Life, you keep me wide awake...
no misery is sweeter than you,
you really got me, no comfort for me...
give way to agony,  answer me,
While I toil to get you back...
I got you back,why don't you,stay...

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Live Life, Love, Lie, Die(abridged)

These days m listening to some trace-opera-jazz-rock-blues hybrid kinda music... so its pretty numbing... nothing to write about really... wrote this awesomely depressing open last night, but lost it in my own handwriting, cant make out a single work, its all the fucking gibberish now... ooo yea... college, guys started messaging - you where you put a guys name and forward it to people who know the guy - yea, i know its lame... but hey u gotta move with the flow sometimes... so...ummm... yea, I got one with my name, so i started a retaliation campaign, but i think i just may have... just ... just , just... crossed the line, a tinsy wincy bit... you know slighty... just peeked over it... hmmm... yea I managed to insult 1 2 3... 5 guys with one message 8)... not nice but howz looking 3:) ...

The title, its  not random, its from the poem that I wrote and thats now a part of the trash since I can't read it back... : ( ... may after I am done with these essays, i'll try and rewrite the it...

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Beatin To The Groove

Its more like timing and rhyming to it actually, got movies to download and games to play and books to read, however, the fact is that no Time... M already 24 hours over due with these projects.... oooooo... haan, double saawari pay ban kahatm... awww... fuck...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Itsy Bitsy Queen

My little, itsy bitsy queen...
let me tell you a little story...
the world you see now,
it aint was so...

The world has now,
changed forever... or
so they would like you,
to believe, me you...


My little, itsy bitsy queen...
let me tell you a little story...
the world you see now,
it aint was so...


The deep seas,
look how they stir...
boiling, frothing, foaming
all around us... heavens a splinter...

see the shinny petals,
how soaked they be...
the mockingbird now,
sings to the tune...


My little, itsy bitsy queen...
let me tell you a little story...
the world you see now,
it aint was so...


The world is gona,
change you see...
how the stars tinkle...
the moon looks bright
let the dust specks settle,
and the world...
just let it be...

My little, itsy bitsy queen...
let me tell you a little story...
the world you see now,
it aint was so...

Monday, October 11, 2010

Feeling the National Spirit

I feel fucked up, like serious like... like i'll tear apart the next person who hints at trying to piss me off... and there is no apparent reason for that... yayy... i acquired the national spirit at laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssttttttttt....

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Unassociated Associates

Ever come across one of those people who are politically ideologically and even religiously neutral... or rather they appear to be so, but in reality these people are more fanatical and the fanatics within the cause... I do...

So, this guy, I always end up winding in a political or religious discussion with the guy... in religion I have to sadly destabilize his beliefs... most of the times it ends with choose between the Quranic personality for some folk tradition... even in politics I have to ridicule that dude... recently when ethnic tensions were rife, that dude forwarded a message that... well it literally made by blood boil...  sadly though ignoring doesn't help, you have to sink to their level in order to get rid of them, that I had to do... not proud of that but hey, I need some peace too...

The thing ain't not funny however, these unassociated associates not only damage people that do not follow their ideological shit, these people are more damaging to the ideology it self since they are not associated with the ideology, rather with a sick twisted version they made up them selves...

Whats the psychoanalytic view of motivation....?

Sleep Deprived

For the past couple of weeks I havn't slept for more than 3 hours a day...

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Tried Moi

Its sick... I wrote a whole post abt me, ended up writing strange things... a sham basically... it'll come with age, the enlightenment....


As for the bloody confusion ... it was confusing... mind wrecking... honestly... its still there... see!?!...you know how I decide most of the things now... I sleep on it... it doesn't help.. but someone thinks of something... but when I don't have a choice, I have to like decide stop on... I simply count the bling I have... its cheap like that...

I honestly think the poetry writing has to do with that confusion... sure there are doctors and engineers and BBAs who do that... but has any1 ever seen it done by an accountancy student... NO!!!... even I havn't...


a poem writing accountant ended up this how me...... hmmm... yea, i rev write too, complete rev script, then it has elements from all the languages that I ever had to write or wrote...

thats odd... why are people so confused... hmm.. don't doubt yourself... heck I don't, even the joker never did and look at him..... X-D... sleepy, slept at 4, got up at 7 and now got work.... sheeesh... thats life...

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Stronger, Faster... Better

What Doesn't Kill me Will only make Me Stronger... that quite a factual statement and I can vouch for it too... that's how good I've become from my experiences...

Unimpressed Prosaic

I got the case of exploding mangoes yesterday around 4.30 pm. PST ... by 11 am PST this morning I had finished it... in detail mind I tell you I read the book... nice book, fast paced too. But I am not impressed by my reading speed since I seldom use for academic or any purpose other than recreational schemes... you what the trick is, try and read those signboards as you zoom past them, it helps develop reading speed and the comprehensibility of the words... nevertheless, unimpressed by this performance of mine I be...

In other news.... who cares...

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Feel like Mad, Live Life Bad

brady punk, look straight fool,
it aint be the things you think
tool, don't be a bitch look straight,
the swagga' ain't gonna hold up fool

swagga' jigga ain't gonna do no good,
feel like mad, live life bad...
happiness... its just a fad
wait you, desperation will take the tab

talk with a swagga, walk with one...
what you be fool, that can't done,
you feel the pain...fall in love,
pain... now be undone

ye old'e tales be thy...
awww... fool stop with that lie,
go punk some bitch...
shoo, fool you ain't no hitch...

look y'all... it be simple
reality ain't its nothing
but a damn perception
the shackles, the pain
all just a fuckin' deception

Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Tooth Fairy

I think Hellboy's tooth fairies were much cooler than what we have, I mean why pay for a piece of bone you can just gobble up, you know go nom nom nom ahhhhhh... I've been paying visits to the dentists lately, she's cute but that has nothing to do with the visits, I got to get an extraction done, mere aqal darh mein kera lag gaya hai... can't do root canal there and its too late for a filling hence an extraction... however, my first visit I discover that my other tooths - their all 3rd morals(aqal darhs) hence calling them teeth is an insult - are filled with cavities as well... so... yea, you get the picture... anyway.... yesterday my dentist advised me to get braces... not for cosmetic reasons, thats why I didn't get them the last time, but now... it seems... that the cosmetic reason has manifested in to a medical reason... you know constant pain in the teeth, turns out, my molars are rubbing against each other and in a few years, my canines will turn to powdered dust - or at least they'll crack to bits - if nothing is done... they already acquired a pointed edge like vampires...Me being me, M stuck in a dilemma... what to do... there is a 30% chance i'll lose my vampire like teeth...

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Dark Night to Me

Of late, its become a habit...
make it more like this,
you made it all like this...
the dark night to me
is just a time of day...
the sunlit sky, its there to be

you could have had the world,
changed the way the heaven looks,
in your light, the world now looks
on and on, it passes by

Of late, its become a habit...
make it more like this,
you made it all like this...
the dark night to me
is just a time of day...
the sunlit sky, its there to be


the fallen wings, they ache
the pain, its just a little,
hold on to me, just a little
time, just all I need

Of late, its become a habit...
make it more like this,
you made it all like this...
the dark night to me
is just a time of day...
the sunlit sky, its there to be


to sit and stare, the distance
its just a hurdle, meaningless
overcome the world, effortless
let the heavens sing, timeless
and dance underneath, boundless

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Awww... Go Fuck Yourself

I had an epiphany reading some blogs, but being in a lighted headed state of mind I pushed it to the back of my mind. It reoccurred to me when I was talking to a friend of mine, I told him about it and he its just a realization. Now I read an article, and you know sometimes I wonder whether the pagan-adopted-christian myth of god leaving the world to decay is true. It is a fucked up place I tell, the more pious them fucks pretend to be, the worse off they are... Right now I feel like doing something, but I know what'll happen when I get up to do something, my national and pseudo religious beliefs will overcome by human instinct of activity and slump back in to this chair and continue to write something for some punk who's too busy bangin and hangin....

To the right wing people, just one request... please please please burn us already... the left is fucking with us, they ain't gonna burn us, neither they gonna let you burn us... please please please please burn us... the pathetic existence on the face of this earth...

You know, its our own fault we in this fucked up state... fucking animals prowling among us, and you don't need to blame anyone, people are selling their families for this... prostitution really burns right through me... people who wanna do it, let em do it, but why the hell do these people have to involve innocent people, blackmailing them... cause they did some wrong too, but still that is punishment too harsh...

We are failures in every aspect, and by we I mean every single fucking muslim, even those in palestine and other conflicted places, those who preach... and every other single type... all the fucks are pathetic failures... you just pretend you care about others, but in actuality, you just frigging care about your own junk asses... Go fuck yourselves in your little corners...

I still feel enraged by our actions, but after writing this much, my brain just yelled to me... " Awwww... GO FUCK YOURSELF, *andsomeotherabusesinurdu " and its frigging right, I am part of this sick sick sick pathetically morally diseased nation... I just shattered a guys hope for salvation by pointing out the fact that dajjal and mehdi aint commin no time soon, so F*** U man, go die

THE WORLD IS BURNING AND THE END AIN'T NEAR...

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Change Your Heart

Hey now, listen to me here,
the things are all that simple,
if you let them be...
hey now, your one of my kind...

the days and nites,
they be all just hangin around...
peace is what I want from you
the madness... its just chasing me
look, its just all that simple...
c'mon those are just
the feelings he had for you,
now all alone, he left you... for neigh...


Hey now, listen to me here,
the things are all that simple,
if you let them be...
hey now, your one of my kind...

the suns and stars,
they be waitin for eternity,
change is what you want now
don't look back... the past went by
look, its just all that simple...
waitin won't change a thing
move on now... nada not there...


Hey now, listen to me here,
the things are all that simple,
if you let them be...
hey now, your one of my kind...

the you and me,
no longer lonely we be,
the lights look bright,
they ain't not shinnin for neigh...
look, its just all that simple...
madness be me, and moon be you
when'll you say i love you...

It ain't easy...

it ain't easy being the way you are
depression suits you honestly,
would I lie to you, honestly...
change of heart, that ain't easy
change of mind, that'd be cheesy...

oh, wait, on second though
change what really matters,
that heart, that mind
just a thought, a glimmer of imagination
you really don't matter, honestly...

it ain't easy being the way you are
depression suits you honestly,
would I lie to you, honestly...
change of heart, that ain't easy
change of mind, that'd be cheesy...


its not you, honestly...
the thing is, that heart
that mind just ain't mine

screw it, the honest truth
you can't bear you know, honestly...
the thing is, with you life
its just down right depressing...

live my life, that's what I do
it ain't easy being you
depression suits you... honestly...

change of heart, change of mind,
just a hoax, if I say my mind...

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Effing Hilarious...

yea.... so friend just sent me this link... and if you have a sense of humor you can't hold back your laugh.... its hilarious...

Monday, September 20, 2010

Mere Pyaray Allah Mian

Mere Pyaray Allah Mian... I honestly don't give a damn about this city, burn it to cinder... but can you please please please please please hold it off... just for a few hours... say just till 12 noon tomorrow.... I gotta run an important errand, I was already ... ummm... um... um... um... khwared today for that certificate... please please please... just till 12... I just need to get it and I'll be out, then you can do what ever you want... A M E E N... SUMAMEEN... ooh oohhh can you please can you please divert us to a place that has good breakfast, any place...




ps: mere pyaray allah mian are among uncle surgum's most memorable dialogues....

Terribly Unchangable

For once I though I'd write something happy and nice.. this is all I could come up with

the things are all that simple,
if you let them be...

I just cant get my self to write happy things... I comment happy things, even my status updates and msg reps are happy like.... but what ever I do, I cant cant cant... get myself to write happy things here... Now I'm wondering if this be a serious thing, or another phase like that... 

the sounds all around,
siren songs, they be all...
time aint what we got now,
now think beyond
the sights, the sounds, the pain
there's a lot to be gained...

or maybe I'm just confused... may its been happy all the time and I be thinking it sad... yea confused I am... thats all................

Sunday, September 19, 2010

A Bitter End

The floods had barely ended the quake came.... now its another then another... this is really really turning into a tragic little story, but you know, I am sensing reluctance on part of nature... it should finish it off already... even I'm tired writing about it... it so.. ohhh well... got an annual dinner coming, hopefully I'll be able to squirm my way out of it... its.. well I be just tired of those dinners, laughing people, no sense of time, and in the end they forget they don't have any purpose either... I just realized that a few months ago... I be one of em back then, planning, directing, producing, snipping funds to have some fun... but its all just there, its not anywhere else... I am tired of even waiting for the bitter end... its become so mundane and boring.... sheeeesh... dull life...

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Vivid dreams and Haze Asunder

The vivid dreams and the haze asunder,
Now I lie, asleep here under,
the daze be mine, I be its,
This is now a deep deep slumber...

A 100 years of sorrow to lumber
I hear them come, there they be,
what they be I don't remember...

All that time, a slight recollection,
sounds that be from over yonder,
images I see, shadows they be,
A mere haze of a mind in daze....

Now I see the flaming towers,
my hordes of gold all stacked together,
all I see are dead and dying,
the broken ones, the fallen lying
wailing screams and the wind be horse,
This is hell, now I think,
And the old man just  nods away,
here shadows walk and the sun lays cold,
the moon is there, just to burn the eyes
the forms now fold, the daze be mine....

A 100 years of sorrow to lumber
I hear them come, there they be,
what they be I don't remember...

All that time, a slight recollection,
sounds that be from over yonder,
images I see, shadows they be,
A mere haze of a mind in daze....

Lo 'behold, the purest senses,
wealth abundant, no such spurs,
calm and quite, peace here reigns
honey seas, teardrops rain
angels sing, and the silvery moon
This is heaven, now I think,
And the old man just  nods away,
a plunge is all what it takes,
the beauty there, drives one blind
the forms now fold, the daze be mine...


The vivid dreams and the haze asunder,
Now I lie asleep here under,
the daze be mine, I be its,
This is now a deep deep slumber...
The vivid dreams and the haze asunder,
Now I lie, asleep here under,
the daze be mine, I be its,
This is now a deep deep slumber...

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Another Way

Now that eid has come to an end and the era of ramadan of off, we the pious muslims will go back to our regular routine of pillaging, looting and ransacking our fellow muslims, only we will do it a bit less... since the holy month is no more......

Yesterday, I got a shock... the inflation, vegetables should be branded so that their prices do not fluctuated that much... I really just don't get it... da farigh and vella person that I am, I started to ponder on the affairs of this country, what would happen to a country where the goddamn tomatoes are 110/kilo and the effing onions are at 85/kilo... next we know salt will be 500/kilo.. what the freaking hell is happening, so bad economic conditions were speculated and it was known that... well.. things will go bad, but this is seriously fucked up...

Like all the people gifted with the power of writing I write this post in protest... and like all the other writers, I don't know what I am protesting, I am just yelling since this was a national past time in ramadan... moreover, i should be working, but I don't feel like it, so like all diligent people, I too, am wasting my time.... that's another way to improve the national state, waste time......

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Things to did/do on Eid

          Goals                                        Status


Go for eid prayer                                      X
Drink sheer khorma                                  X
visit relatives                                             X
Die of boredom after visiting relatives        X
Avoid Facebook                                       -
Collect Eidi                                               -
Spend Day with Family                             X
Start studying on day two                          -
Attend class of day three                           -
Give eidi to nieces and nephews.               -
Start creative work.                                  -
Waste Time                                              X
Get a new phone                                       -
Get a new GF                                           -
Get something                                           -
Hang Out                                                  -
Avoid the TV                                            -
Avoid the PC                                            -
Go out in Rain                                           X
Frame cousin for something                       X

Legend
- means not achieved/or wasn't in the mood for it
X means achieved
===============================

So all in all I wasted this beautiful eid, it was fun no doubt, but I could have made it better... I blame the government and whoeveriswillingtotaketheblame...

On a serious note, after resuming my studies on a serious note after 2 years, I seriously need to study

PS: the alignment of the above table is proof... things shouldnt go as planed, its more fun

Thursday, September 9, 2010

You Know Women Lie

Bitching about things actually works... and women said men don't listen to them.. that a blatant lie, and an outrageous one at that... for the first time I actually saw the complaining about customer service actually got us somewhere and the manager was also a nice guy, he gave us... ummm lets just call it complementary stuff... so yea it turned out to be fun... but I could get the damn snickers replaced...again...

Anyway, as i said... women lie, and the fact that bitching works while they state facts to the contrary is proof of that that... quad erect demonstradum[that's latin for hence demonstrated]... But you the see lying dosen't stop there, no it dosen't, it goes on and on and on, mingling in to a few things and becoming the cause of some others... but then again the statement can only be generalized, not universalized... as in the words of a nice woman, "of course they lie to men, who said anything about women"

I just don't get the point of this post, I should delete it, but I need to write something to turn myself down a notch... I aint not a misogynist, this is a fact, like the one about the sun rising in the east and water being wet, so on and so forth... sleepy I am, and I got a stinking class in the morning... for the moment its all a fun and game... so just play along...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Dead Sun and Desire

my eyes are burning like fire, right now, its all like a desire
the feeling, its like soaring, all the over the glory hogging crowd,
I don't know how I made it, but here with the desire
its all burning, the flame ain't touching, it all a haze
my eyes are burning fire, right now, its all a desire

Look look ov'r yonder, the suns rising
but wait, you see no light no spark no fire
An ice cold ball that stays, hung up in the sky
Its strange see, you will, break free once

my eyes are burning like fire, right now, its all like a desire,
above all them soul sucking fools, am no longer in the lot
freedom smelled nice before, now the stale is boring,
make a stir, shake the world, for too long its slept, now awaken
it time is neigh, the time is now, burn up, take it, leave that
the passion you feel it burning, the core we all will kill... NOW
my eyes are burning like fire, right now, its all like a desire

Monday, September 6, 2010

say bye bye

See, life is just too short to lounge around, you should always stay focused on the objective... thats what a few of my friends think...

I think quite to the contrary, in my opinion life is simply just too long to wasted in pursuit of aims and objectives...

See, its an old myth and I read it somewhere, that in the beginning the all the knowledge was written on a single sapphire... but man being as as usual was not content with this and the so-called wise men began to write explanations and explanations of the explanations and the explanations of the explanations of the explanations. to such an extent that the actual sapphire was lost, and the knowledge became so wide spread that it became impossible to accumulate all in one place...

so you see, it is my belief that it is this useless and futile pursuits that have ruined our lives... but despite all my political and ideological rants I can't let go of these useless pursuits.. its more like an addiction these things... i wanna forget these worldly things, but then again and again and again, I cant let go of this

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Sailor of Pain

I pursued satanism, then free masons and finally the Illuminati... I've given up on the illuminate after forming some theories about their numbers and their existence... the free masons and the satanists I found a plenty, even in this so called Islamic republic.. many famous people were both, masons and satanists... Occam's Razor is the most useful thing when your looking for foolish things and meaningless things... in the midst of all the work that I put into these findings and theoricizing, one thing i came to notice, the most calm periods in our country's history were under their regime... the masons and the satanists... that the maulvis and the good politicians couldn't do these evil people did it, they brought prosperity to god forsaken people... in essence that makes these evil and those guys good... oddly enough though, write after the appearance of Zia these people began to vanish off the scene, now zia wasn't a mardemomin that he purported to be, so he must have been a greater evil who succeeded in scaring these little ones off, yea thats what happened... he scared these guys off... and for the record the Illuminati don't give a shit about this world, just think of them as stoned hippi sages, their happy where they are, they don't interfere in silly disputes for oil and they don't plot no wifey's murder... they got better things to worry about...

mental note [visit buildings in old Karachi, they must some clue about their next coming...]

PS: Visit the building in the park near arts council or the cowasjee house, which ever suits your fancy... their interesting...

Friday, September 3, 2010

Irony or Dilemma

I got this assignment. It was an analysis about a South Asian country, my persuasive boss got the client to choose Pakistan as the country of choice. I sat down writing the paper and after mailing it, sat down reading it. it turned out to be a criticism of Pakistan more so.

It concluded with, " The natural wealth of the country along with the geographical and topological diversity of the country is only rivaled by that of India, with a slight mix of almost every ecological climate. From harsh burning deserts to freezing mountains tops and killer mountains, the country has a wealth of untapped natural resources. The only weakness in the country lies in the mentality of the people who are unwilling to accept their flaws, and would rather blame their miseries on the messiah, god and all his departed creations along with hitler, leo tolstoy, britney spears and miley cirus"

It was a criticism no more a report than... I miss the turbulent times... Oooo, oooo I forgot, after a very very very long time, after almost a few eons I came home after 2... I was freaking tired and it was fun, awesomely fun... and that girl in deuces is nice, but why don't get to see em type in real thats what intrigues me... irony or dilemma?

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Indomitably Asleep

Sleep is a bliss, like the ignorant little kiss...
although ignorance i adore, this sleep is what i abhor...
the sea washes over the shore, and sleep in its grasp...
the sand seems to lure, the visitors to sleep...
the will then fades in, to the everlasting fade...
the sands are abound, plenty to go around...
all i ask is this, to stay awake without a miss...

Monday, August 30, 2010

Deadline for a Timeline

I told a friend about my plan to burn down the damn world, and he just said one thing, "your forgetting you'll burn with it". This just goes to show that people no longer give a damn about this place... if a believed the ancient pagan myths then I would have gladly said that the creator god forsook this piece of trash land and left for a better place, but fortunately/unfortunately, I can't say that since it will amount to heresy and what not. In short just another reason for the nation to fun at someone else's expense, so bloody typical of our nation. Just finished writing a long essay on the democracy in Iraq, personally I freaking hate democracy, all sorts of idiots get to make decisions... this ain't not good, in no way this good is. But for the Arabs, out of love and affection I wholeheartedly support  the notion of a democratic nation, long have they lived in a suppressed tyrannical regime, its time there Muslim brethren mobilized to present enlightenment to our Arab brothers...

I feel stuck up, I used to care about important things, now all I care about is creating a counter-revolution, and having fun and for good reasons too, its much much much more fun than an ordinary revolution, the counter-revolution thing... there's no blood gore and R-rated violence just a bunch of psychotically confused people who can't understand whether they are possessed or schizophrenic or just plain confused.

Now I gotta do a paper on time of crime and legislation, and that too in just 2 hours, and its a 1400 word long project, I just don't feel like it... then there's no ice-cream left... I just want to sleep... honestly

Undisputed

I just finished rewatching undisputed 3... freaking awesome movie I tell you, just plain sweet... all the freaking misery about the this and the that... right now I don't give a damn about it... for some freaking reason watching movies sometimes really does kill the depression and the sadness...

I thought like I'd write about the current happenings and shit, but then it occurred to me, I don't really do what I tell others to do in these times, have fun and wait.. this does not imply squandering money on useless items... make the best of what you got... on a related note, the whole nation is depressed about the match fixing thing, does anybody give a fuck about the ground zero mosque issue, I for one think that mosque was purposely designed to present Islam as an insensitive religion... but then again, this was suppose to be about the current affairs.... But


Undisputed 3 is awesome, the fights almost seem real... Why don't they make more movies like that? and someone answer this is you have seen undisputed 3, was the blood real? 'cause it sure looked real.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Nostalgically Depressed

You know, one of those times when you just can't get whats wrong... its one of those days, I think.... something is off, what I can't understand... It may be cause the class got canceled, or something... either way its depressing and boring... plus its freaking hot here...

Friday, August 27, 2010

Iqbal V Rumi

I just got my hands on a book that is a collection of translations of Rumi's verses. All of these verses focus on one thing, Islam and obedience... Reading the preface, it came to my understanding that the west regards Rumi's as the poet of the East, and I was like, "what about IQBAL?????". Don't we regard him as the poet of the east. After doing some research another thing came to my understanding, like all things blown out of proportion to create the indian musalman's identity, Iqbal too was blown out of proportion, except for Pakistan, no other eastern nation takes him as their poet... Rumi of the other, almost every nation is willing to take him in... sadly for them, Rumi is a stateless poet... But coming back to Iqbal, its not that hes not a good poet, its just that... as I remember Iqbal is patronizing, its like your either this or nothing, be a muslaman or nothing, the earth moves or nothing and stuff like that... thinking of contemporary poets, Ghalib is the guy, he rebelled from the social norms, and he showed the critical thinker spirit, which I didn't find in Iqbal... I read both of their works... and honestly, Iqbal was a guy who walked in style that path walked many times, contrary to that, Ghalid went on a completely different path, and walked in his own style, not even a hint of thought to the world...

Coming Back to Rumi, the first thing that I saw was the reverence to God, it was there, even when the poem was about the rose bud, it was there, and then there was awe for his teacher Maulana Shams Tabraiz... now that is a guy who can be read... and please please all you patriots please, don't endorse Rumi, I beg you... thats another reason why I did write much about his work, the first is that I have not finished reading the book... M thinking, when I get time, I'll learn Persian and read the Masna'vi in its actual form...

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dreaded Lore

The stories we all have heard, of knights and kings and knaves that be... The demons that be, the angels that fall... the glamor in it all, the death that be.... look how it keeps to itself, death even knows it business is not here... this is bad kill, itself it will... lets sit and watch and wait... in the mean vile let me tell you a story...
see, it all started with a rebellious idea.. one that they could not plant, they failed they did... so, they chose one of their own to plant the idea in them... now they had invaded them, took the lands... they did not like it, so they decided to fight... what they forgot was the fact that the land was what gave them and them strength... so now they had no strength... as they fought, those fools... he watched and he watched and they both watched from afar... until, he said... lets play a game you go to them and i'll go to them...

the rest i'll tell you later, right now I hear some died again, something about rain... its all in vain, but the rest i'll tell you later..

Monday, August 23, 2010

Knock me Out

The world looks mad when you look at it mad,
The world looks sad when you look at it sad,
It looks in happy when your in pain
Its in pain when your happy,

Living for it, nothing becomes of me,
Wasted, I did, parts of my life for it,
The world at peace it the worst to see
It is not nature, the world in order,

Shadows, now i see them coming,
Insanity take me, I plead you,
this word as it is, feels dead
that from where you come is alive.

I have been waiting, for the darkness
what we see now is but a twilight,
for what i heard from elders was true darkness
its onset I await, then it will be
the madness in me, free forever.

The world looks mad when you look at it mad,
The world looks sad when you look at it sad,
It looks in happy when your in pain
Its in pain when your happy,
that is why I hate it so.

Blood

Sometimes, in order to start a revolution, the people need blood. Not of some innocent person who is minding his/her own business, rather the blood needs to be of a lying cheating lynching SOB who is a from among the people... It was the same thing in Palestine, in Bosnia, in Chechnya, Sarajevo and all the other places, when the Indian subcontinent, when the blood of people from the actual nation starts spilling, then and only then will a revolution set in... floods, earthquakes, innocent deaths... this is not doing to wake up our nation, what needs to be done is bring some whore-born-motherfucking-bastards on to the streets and torture them and then leave them to be eaten by the pigs and the vultures, this will wake our people, then they'll start worrying about their high arses and do something... until then, kill all the innocents, nothing is gonna change cause those people were abject outsiders, no more part of nation them the pious people of the time when Saladin held Jerusalem.

And know how I know its time for blood, well there is this ancient eastern wisdom that when the land is thirsty, it will draw blood to quench it...... on the bright side... the fasts are going good, no!?!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Change Again

See, I had to change my link... I changed the last one cause it was nonsensical  and a lie at least, the last one was good and true, but since it was ancient Latin, someone used the current syntax and made an identical site, just without posts and all... to I changed the address to my blog one again... Didn't see much happen today, was stuck indoors mostly.. first in the class and then at an iftar dinner...

Looking at our country and nation and city and race, nothing has changed... we are still acting like bastards, on top of that some guys were killed and the media is showing it again and again and again, senselessly, people with chronic depression giving a rats ass about the country will commit suicide... plus our government is at it again, misquoting the figures to get more loans and to top it off, the donation collecting idiots are citing the religious scriptures in incomplete contexts... so yea, nothings changed... Good luck living life...

Friday, August 20, 2010

Ouroboros

The all-devouring serpent, the eternal dragon...  its just like being a step away, feeling it breathe in the face, on the edge of sanity... just an ordinary man, it was just another day... there ain't no hero to save us... learn to fight today to live another day... need all the prayers you can give... it dies now it lives... just stab it in the head, watch out for its tail... there ain't no one save me, I am just an ordinary man... stand up, if you believe in it... the eternal dragon breaths the mortal fire, its just another one, just another.... speak up my mind today, lets see if a live to see today, its just another kill... the eternal dragon, its like being a step away, on the edge of sanity, we are in the bottom alright... whose gonna make a change, whose gonna make it right... its just insane...

See what randomness does... It unusually calm today, this ain't not a boring city, something's cooking........ can't you smell it...?????

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Auburn Sky


Picture Courtesy Sundus
 
"it was red, blue, gray, and a hint of golden and empty all at once"

A little bit of rain, a little bit of pain,
the crimson snow falls, and its all anew,
The sky fills with blue
now it fills with red and then gray,
And a hint of gold to show,
it all now spreads in the Auburn Sky

See it pretty, all the sounds around,
the little things play, in the murk all around
Watch as we stand, the world will change,
the little things play, in the dirt all around,
Play with fire, as I do now, the world will change

A little bit of rain, a little bit of pain,
the crimson snow falls, and its all anew,
The sky fills with blue
now it fills with red and then gray,
And a hint of gold to show,
it all now spreads in the Auburn Sky

Hear the noise, the toil all around,
they work they do, to change it all they do
It has fallen now, wait for the rain to fall,
they work they do, to rearrange it all they do,
Bear with it all,wait for the rain to fall

Play with fire, as I do now
Bear with it all, 
wait for the rain to fall
the world will change

A little bit of rain, a little bit of pain,
the crimson snow falls, and its all anew,
The sky fills with blue
now it fills with red and then gray,
And a hint of gold to show,
it all now spreads in the Auburn Sky

I'd give part of eternity to see the sky like that again...


Monday, August 16, 2010

Fever and Fast

During a fast, my mind shuts down.. I can only perform predetermined tasks... and even those only one at a time, like in class I can either only think of answering the questions or hearing and understanding the lecture, can't do both. Same for every other task, its only after iftar that I can really think... But now the fever impaired even that. I spent the whole day sleeping, did not do a shred of productive work, I worked as usual, but I don't count this one as productive since I just copied it from somewhereIdontevenremember, cited it and then mailed it 5 minutes into iftar time... my eyes are burning, and for some reason the darkness outside seems inviting....

the sky was beautiful during the rain, it was red, blue, gray, and a hint of golden and empty all at once.. A friend has a picture, sadly, I don't have republication rights, asked for permission, lets see... if I get permission, I write emoish, gothistic, stanictic verses to go with it...

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Indifference and Me

What is the first thing that you hear on 14th August... On dot 12...... no, its not the national anthem... no, its not the prayer... no, not that... that ain't it either... keep guessing... and when your exhausted of all the noble answers read on...


The first that I heard was *dhuz *dhuz *dhuz (x4) followed by *tha *tha (x7 quickly) and then some bike engines... the first though that crossed my mind was that someone finally robbed the damn banks... but then I realized something... its 14th august... yaaaaayyyyyyy... As much as love to see the kids celebrating and the works, I freakin hate it when adults celebrate... god damn you, go fuck yourselves in those hell holes you call your homes... seriously... what the hell is wrong with people, let the kids enjoy... why do these jackasses have to celebrate... even so, if you have to celebrate why do you fucks have to go out shooting and stuff... itna shouk hai to koi mili naghma parlo ya dua karlo %#^&@%@#... If we pour in the money used to purchase the ammunition for these celebrations, I bet we could build a whole freaking dam or at least a barrage... and this is why I feel indifferent on independence day

*tha *tha *tha (x3), followed by a *dhuz(x6 this time quickly)

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO YOU TOO....

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Mitte der Nacht

In the middle of the night, when the darkness binds and sounds' a fright ... I just remembered... The bliss returned, the fog now lifted. A hundred leagues is what must be seen, no less, may be more... see you the eye, now I see the truth for what it is, now I know what I was meant for... Hide it hide, it is necessary, no one must know what it is for... why is it there, that be its purpose, to set things right that way it should be... not the way man made it.. no, no, did I tell you its purpose, yes!!!???!!!! no, naaan, nada, nae, i didn't... that was close I almost did... see somethings must never change, and somethings must never be told... first things first, put this place in order, its a mess trashed, get to fixing... then it does the ahead... you see, no you don't... but if you do, its there... the binding darkness, the frightening sounds; all in the middle of the flying night


Happi happi, I got my mad back... hahahahaahha... finally a purpose again... see sanity clouds a sight, that's why I like the maddening... its lets you see...

Monday, August 9, 2010

Empty Void

The thing is I just came back from my grand mother's death anniversary. But it wasn't sad, there was the usual routine recitation, but it wasn't sad. See, when you are too close to violence, even things that matter seem trivial... Life itself becomes a multitude of violence, all in a sequence, choreographed one after the other in a systematic manner. To see the purpose of things its good to distance one's self from all the mayhem for a while, so that once the fatigue ends that person an reenter the field and may be even turn the tables. Once in a while everyone should take a break, don't be selfish but still... make sometime to see your own reflection. This empty void of a life will seem fulfilled, meaningful... but you see, success isn't when you find destiny, you will always find destiny... success is when destiny finds you, and you embrace it

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Bliss Begone

For no apparent reason, I am feeling more level headed... more mature. I can see things more clearly. Then again, its may be cause I am feeling down again... Its not the rain, I love the rain, especially when it has thunder and lightening. Its not the country or the city, to be honest I don't give a rats ass about either... burn them, loot them whatever... Its my own responsibilities and financial losses that are depressing me. Seriously, this city is freaking costing me money, I cant work, nor can I capitalize on my expenditure... I hope someone interferes... Honestly I am done trying to work for the country, I am done waiting for the revolution, all of this is costing me my life...

I want my madness back, don't want a level head... This is exactly why I hate a level head... I need to get high... 

Friday, August 6, 2010

Get It Out

Tired, pathetic and seriously screwed over... this is how I feel right now.. just talked to a friend. His bike got snatched. My eyes are droopy, but I still gotta do some chores and then there is work as well, but I won't be able to do this one. Can't make heads or tail of it... Its seriously screwed over... Something about mobile marketing and stuff, I am an accountant, not a marketing guy, seriously, my head is banging... like BOOM BOOM BBBOOOOM tic tic tic BOOM BOOM BOOOMM.. and the pattern keeps repeating... Ouch... Need pain meds, badly...

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Smells like teen spirit...

frnd: kuch zaida he kharab hogaen hain halaat
me: wouldn't know... on fb

frnd: petrol pumps jala diea
me: vr dey urs

frnd: more dan 30 cars burned
me: tmhari tu bachi hoi haina

frnd: our president is in europe, geo news is depressing... and the power jst went
me: welcome to pakistan, w8... ur already here.... wtf, welcome to hell

frnd: plane cash, flood and then target killing, all with pakistan tagged, hw does this sound
me: i like ice-cream

frnd: 3 things in 1 week
me: w8, let me get some pakola, its happi happi

frnd: hearing ambulances
me: hearing songs

frnd: mix dat wid the ice-cream
me: ate the ice-cream, want da drink

frnd: its a one night stand
me: hes a whore

frnd: *sigh*
me: wat the hell were v talking about b4 this....
.
.
.
me: lets get away, i'll fall for her too
frnd: i hear voices in my head...

Monday, August 2, 2010

Ice Cream

So the thing with us karachi-walay is that we become conditioned easily... people might say we have a hardy nation and other such bull shitty stuff but the fact... we just make it a habbit... people burned alive, ok no problem... murder death vadalism, you name it... we are already used to it...

On that note, I would like to add that the city is in chaos, there are reports of firing and people being killed, and vehicles being burned along with people and here I am eating ice-cream... you know why??? its because m a karachiite


Call me inhumane or what ever, but the fact is that I am a karachi-wala... and its all a routine for us

Outlandish

Outlandish has got be among one of the best bands i ever heard...


Sunday, August 1, 2010

Wet Socket

I had been disconnected for a whole day cause my PTCL line died... WTF. What if I was an important business man or a big shot politician who decided the fate of this God forsaken land... ???!!!??? hm, what then... my business would have been ruined and our beloved Godforsaken land would have entered hell... These people must understand the responsibility that they bear as the nations only landline telephone service, its not like we have tens of companies catering to us.... awww fuckin great... the real player hanged.... fuck that... these people are all so irresponsible... no wonder the worlds gone to the dogs... Viva la Vida is the only good song in Viva la Vida

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Tag - Ur It

But what the hell is 'it'... thats what I have never been able to understand... But its not about that, that I'll do some other time... Right now, I read this off Diva Divine.


1. Your Name: Obaid
Unordinary, very unique being with human like features. Very sexy and has a mysterious appeal. Extremely rare individual, one of a kind.

2. Your Age: 21

The age at which one is finally considered human.

3. One of your friends: Aisha

A woman with beautiful brown eyes. one that exhibits altruist behavior, loving ,kind, free spirit.

4. What should you be doing? Freelancing

job that at times may drive you crazy and at others be quite satisfying. Pay varies greatly depending on the amount of BS you are willing to put up with.

5. favorite color: Black

A color widely defined as the absence of light

6. Birthplace: Karachi


Karachi is housed to hard working people from all over Pakistan which pay ultra regressive taxes to Islamabad(Pakistan capital) to develop Islamabad infrastructure while Karachi rots.

LAW AND ORDER:
Law and Order is only possible for those who can afford it i.e. people with political and financial connections.

DRINKING WATER:
Drinking water is also questionable but not as poisonous as Hyderabad's(Karachi neighboring city) water supply.

SEWAGE SYSTEM:
Sewage systems can rival Baghdad's system after the fall of Saddam. Karachi's sewage is dump in the sea killing the mangrooves if any of them are left from land hungry mafia.

POWER:
Power Supply is expensive all thanks to World Bank and their local cronies. Load shedding in summers is as infrequent as Hurricanes without wind. Power theft is also common.

CORRUPTION:
From public to private sector corruption is rampant. If a suppose a bridge is constructed 10% will be spent on actual bridge and rest 90% goes to pockets of cronies (Figures by Dr. Mehboob, Economist) Pakistan Planning Commision puts the figure 40% lost to corruption.

COMPENSATION:
Labor, workers, employees are under paid all over the city with few notable exceptions. School teachers are worst paid too. Most of it can be attributed to greedy nature of some Karachites.

TRAFFIC:
Traffic is worse than Italy. For traffic rules violation people can bribe Karachi's finest on the road without any shame. Karachi also home to Worse drivers. Road sense is as abundant as water on moon. Drivers are not the only ones, pedestrians can be seen crossing the road where ever they feel like.

LITTER:
Karachites rich and poor, can be seen throwing garbage, bottles, wrappers without any shame. Dust bins are non-existent. Spitting is common thing.

QUEUES:
Karachites don't make queues. Strongest person usually wins.

ENTERTAINMENT CENTERS:
Eating is the favorite pastime since there are not so many outing places for people to visit beside Sea, which itself sees coal and oil spills there.

POLITICS:
More of a Dark ages system. Here violence is frequent and incompetent politicans found in abundance. All parties claiming this city belongs to them.

SEX TRADE:
Poor refugees are exploited routinely and are exported to Gulf estates. Local girls can be found easily if one knows where to look for.

EDUCATION:
Education department is also corrupt to the extent some students can give their exams at home. College teacher comes to student home asking for money in exchange of telling the questionnaire.

HONESTY:
Honesty is not the strongest point of Karachites. From insider trading to petty cheats all is consider ok even by most educated people.

PUNCTUALITY:
Coming late on weddings and meetings is common. Most common excuse is traffic or there was no light at home.

Now some good points.
- Most Karachites are hard working.
- Most are educated and civilized than rest of the country.
- Most Karachites immigrate to first world nation to live in like minded society.

7. Month of your birth: April

The most amazing month ever in which only the coolest people in the world are born in.



This was fun, though, try it some time... unexpected answers appear

PS: I also found my DOB but... its a sad memory at UD

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Slacker Nation

I got a class in like 40 minutes, I am all ready to go but I don't feel like going cause its raining. None of my friends are going to their classes, hell not even the ones with jobs went... Everyone is slacking off... just cause of the rain...

I'd like to ask our neighbors, do you guys slack off went it rains? by neighbors I mean Indians, not afghanis cause... well its a desert, and I'm assuming people from Iran don't, even accidentally visit by blog... The Bengalis dont slack in rain, I got quite a few friends who are Bengalis and they dont slack.  in rain...

So, I repeat my question, for clarity out of the clutter... Does any other nation slack off like us?

Tonite - remember the Great Lord

Cause of tonight, I received messages from many many friends. All the messages had the same theme, pray for us tonight, please forgive us tonight. I stirred a though, what were they doing all year, and why of all nights tonight? ask for prayer everyday and every single minute, why just this night??? Then I was remained that tonight is shab-e-barat... I forget its meaning again again...

Tonight is supposed to be especially for worship and prayers, yet many kids are out there expressing their devotion by disturbing people who actually pray... the problem lies in the manner that these kids use to disturb the people, they use fire crackers... why'o why... and then their parents are often seen scolding other children for not praying and burning crackers... why'o why....

I was listening to this qawali, I suddenly wondered... all the people sending out messages, why do they worship Lord God? ask them, and most will instantly reply, He deserves our worship, but do they actually mean it, they don't pray... praying is something far fetched, they dont know the number of rakats in each prayer... I just an argument with one, he was adamant that there are 10 rakats in friday prayers.. and I was like : / .... and then that dude tells me to act like a muslim.. I was like WTF... just cause of a french and this guy doesnt know the number of rakats in a friday prayer... its a freaky world...

Well, as I was saying, ask them and they cite a reason, but do they actually believe in it??? I know I do, i just forgot why I did, then the poetry reminded me... I worshiped the Lord God for all the confusion that surrounds HIM, this may be the most awkwardest reasons, but this is the fact, looking at the maddness in the universe, i don't dare step there, thats why m am stuck at the quarter, cause of HIM... seriously, the confusion thats the real attraction, there but not there, all loving yet warthfull...

Just remembered I read something on a Deism website, i pointed out the flaws of God.. The dude who wrote was an idiot, the fool took the beauty for disturbance... as the poet says, what is this eternal game Lord, what is it that you have done; you created an age of wonders, yet you are ready to destroy them; hell heaven, what is all this my Lord; you made us to know, yet we are the ones who haven't seen you Lord... You are an enigma...

I like Lord God cause of that... M His lesser servant

Monday, July 26, 2010

Tm aik gorakh dhanda ho

Just came across this qawali,  the poetry is mind blowing, awe-inspiring... ...... cant describe it in words

One Manga

Thats the only manga site that I was able to find and its going offline...

It rained today, so I am not feeling miserable enough to write anything worth writing... substance exists so that it may be abused and yield it essence to the abuser.. or something like that was going through my mind, then I started shifting through old arabic songs on youtube, found a nice one didi... but then again... i remember the other lines too...

substance exists so that it may be abused and yield its essence to the abuser, lighting is cold fire colder than most atleast I think... the earth smells nice after the rain... here its like a stream flowing

Nada, I do not feel like writing substance... its gotten colder here... bring your friends, so... do not even feel like listening to the lyrics... ignorance is a bliss and I want it back... no more trading on bliss...

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Unhinginess

Feeling like a great burden has been lifted and my soul has been redeemed, finally... I was able to draw the match with my friend. He always won with a lead of at least 40 to 30 points but not today. And I also started work again... it feels good

Whats new, ummm... killings, killings, murder,... n war.... , rebels... etc etc... nothing on the news even, but the wind is blowing beautifully well.. its stuck in my head that song... so nice a song... but its stuck, that is never good now is it?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Aicha

Ever heard a nice song, this is what it translates into



As though I did not exist, she passes by me;
Without a look, queen of ' Saba '
I said Aicha, take everything for you
Here is pearls jewellery, also gold around your neck,
fruits, property, seas of honey, my life,
Aicha if you love me I shall go be your breath,
our name shall be one, in the countries of ivory and rivers
I shall erase your tears and your troubles,
nothing is too nice for Aicha

Aicha look at me, Aicha, Aicha I won't leave you Aicha
Aicha look at me, Aicha, Aicha talk to me,
I shall say words, poems
I shall play musics of the sky
I shall take rays of the sun, to light your eyes
O' queen Aicha,
Aicha look at me, Aicha,
Aicha I won't leave you Aicha

She said to me: 'Keep your treasures,
me, I am better than everything?
am I such a thing no longer human,
golden names, I want the right names
that Of every day respect, me,
I want only love '

As though I did not exist, she passes by me;
Without a look, queen of ' Saba '
I said Aicha, take everything for you
Aicha, Aicha look at me,
Aicha Aicha look at me
Aicha don't go away
Aicha, Aicha talk to me.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Paradigm of Misery

I just got a new title... Paradigm of Misery... i like this one... its like grande.... big big you know... just got a new mouse... it not have blinking lights, just a blue middle button, not that good...

It rained a little today... missed it, I only knew after I was the wet roads... and by the looks of it, it was a really pleasant rain, the light drizzle type, when it dose not rain too must, but just enough to brighten the plants...

finished over-lord again, i did not anything better to do, the calculations were spinning my head, so i though to play a game... that the one that was there, i think my cousin was trying to end it, oh well, all is well that ends well, no!!!

need a new graphics card and I need to find a good tuition center for ACCA, can't self study this... its not that I can't, its just that I no longer have the motivation or the strength to do that, I need something to fall back on, something to blame it all on, it took a lot of effort and a lot of sinning to get rid of the plaguing depression... I never understood why it happens, but now I do, depression is unused potential, the motivation that we gather up, if its not used it goes stale and becomes depression... well that the hell, the worlds gonna end any way... I just hope it ends real quick cause m bored. 

Friday, July 16, 2010

I passed

I passed... *_*... : ) : )

The One-Eyed Man... yea him... you know

I just dont get it, why wont he leave us pathetic people alone... he plots against us.. he helps others against us... why.... why... why us???? why does he hate us with his one-eye.... [that's what goes on in most of the revolutionary minds around here]

NewsFLASH: he doesn't give a damn, he got better things to do than to worry about a pathetic people...

I want to watch a new movie, but the torrent is like dead... tomorrow is my paper, hope I pass this one.... back to the one-eyed dude... just one thing... has any fuckhead ever seen him, no na! then stop bitching and get back to work, he'll come for you when he has time...

I found this really freaky blog, it was filled with mathematical crypts and ciphers and stuff, and it was dedicated to exposing the illuminate... I mean seriously... if they are that smart why would they even appear in front of idiots like us...

Zaraki is stuck in heuco mondo, and tensa zengetsu and the hollow are actually one, how awesome is that... plus I really like that zanpaktu, the dream catcher, it makes games into reality, thats how he killer the primera...

And people, back off, give the one-eyed guy some break, and another things.. bloodlines don't matter....




I took 8 pills sleeping ones and woke up in 2 hrs... WTF


On a different note, the sky is again beautifully red, red like crimson snow... its breathtaking

Monday, July 12, 2010

Its Falling Apart

No really it is, even though I have a steady supply of income and stuff, still my life is just falling around, even the antidepression medication just makes me sleepy, in fact it has been making me a bit too sleepy... But still I don't think that i will be able to make it without them...

The damn thing is still stuck on quarter... why cant a just lose it totally for once...!!! :'( :) :) :'( :) :)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Exploding heads

For the past couple of days I was feeling really really really depressed, and I didn't even want to feel depressed... it just was their and it was ruining everything... and I mean everything... the social life and personal life, even the intrapersonal life... it was all seriously fucked up... even the rain felt like punishment

The I took a couple of antidepressants... its all cool now... who knew those things really worked.. No i didn't overdose, just 2 0.5mg pills... though they made me sleepy but the world was a better place to live in ... its been raining since morning

I intentionally delayed the submission of a project... it was due to the client around 4 in the morning.... I mailed it around 7... I like myself... and yea this pill has not changed my mind just calmed it...

Monday, July 5, 2010

It rained it rained

it jut rained awesome.... n something something... dnt feel like describing it.. outside is more fun...

Saturday, July 3, 2010

the thing is... their both different

And they really are... trace and rock... you cant compare them, they got different feels and both serve completely different purposes... its like comparing an awesome doodh pati with a darn good coffee, people both are different... they are made differently and both serve different purposes...

damn the net it keeps dying...

so.. i was saying... rock and trace don't mix... two prove my point we will consider the example of ummm... marilyn manson (call the guy what ever you want... but he is a rocker) and then consider yarvin... but what the hell... so... someone blew up data darbar... I really still don't get the point... I mean how can you compare three websites made for different purposes and elaborate the differences... and why arn't there any TV shows about commerce people, doctors engineers hell even lawyers have shows... But the point is trace and rock are different things... you cant compare them... each has its own place...

and this is how you freelance or this is how I do it... its very easy you just have to ramble about unusual things and the old nightwish singer, vanja... she had a voice... i couldnt prove a point if my life depended on it... look at music from a relative angle rather than a retrospective or someotherspective angle... it will make sense...

I blame CA for this state of mind... no seriously... i was studying sales tax... i just don't get the point of it... this post i mean... i mean i read this blog and its a narrative, a clear cheery narrative.. and theres this other blog its like a story... this is gonna be the longest post ever... m just bidding time I gota start work at 11 and race towards the finish before 12... ever noticed how lifes like a rat race... we all race towards the end hoping to get a big slice of cheese but end up getting diced open as the healthiest specimen..

Thus, it can be observed from the evidence present that the evident conclusion is that the different genres of music are meant for different purposes... trace and rock are different..

PS: trust me when I tell you its better to do your work yourself, this is how all freelancers write... the tedious pain staking research that we do is actually scurrying about the internet for some smuck's essay that is altered in length and tone and presented to people as our hard work...

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Men are Abused

Men are abused by women... yaaay... the gora lord has done it again... another idiotic theory that is against supported by countless facts and figures and theories... WTF... I worked for two days to prove it aswell... I am proud that I can lie, other wise this line of work wouldnt have been easy.

Heard Desire by Schiller, can't understand a word but still the words are the sweetest part of the song... trance rules...

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

20 togo, @ 4

Freelancing, sounds cool, the pay is even cooler... but unfortunately... greed and laziness are on the verge of again taking over.

Now I feel like starting my own shit, or cooling down with this one.... I gotta study too... its not like this is a career move, or is it... if only my uber suddenly religious friends turns his head around to the old ways again, then may be i'll start my own thing, other wise, m happi with the current thing, just feeling lazy cause I didn't work for 10 days, and then a paper that was today got delayed, so now its on ... its on... its on... 16... yea

Bleach had this awesome episode, and the magna is lying it down pretty heavy too... its AAAWEEEeeeeSSSOMe...

Some guys got killed i think 2day, don't know for sure, I hav't watched the news... The only reason I am writing this post is the fact that I got tired of working, 20 pages by tomorrow and I have done only 4... Inqilaab murdabad... I like this slogan for some reason

Go go go go go, they on the trail, go go go go go keep runnin hommie... I lyk this 1 too...

Sunday, June 27, 2010

97%

Got 97% on the mock... God I wish this happens again in the actual exam... but I wont get to give the same paper with the same questions 7 times... but still 1st attempt 85%+... that would be aweeeesom... don't now whats going on out, Did watch the TV for 5 days, did go any news site, just did the mock and read some of these... thats it.. plz plz plz allahmiyan 90% marks plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Saturday, June 26, 2010

50%

50%... that is the score that I achieved when I gave the mock exam... I tend to increase that now...

Friday, June 25, 2010

Area Code: 666

I studied like hell and made good time, I'm almost done with the course, now I just gotta practice for the paper, that shouldn't be too hard considering the fact that I have mastered the art of failing in those lame fucked up things.

It feels like its gona rain today, but apparently it isn't thats a bummer, now if I stop watching television and completely stop using the PC, i'll be able to complete the maximum allotted subjects thereby allowing me to give the full four exams per ...errr... lets call it a turn...

The city is fast transforming into a hell hole, may be then our movies and dramas will be worth watching... Seriously consider the fact, most of the good films start in places like the hell hole 'NY', or the city of fallen angles 'LA' or some  other place with a cool devilish twist, think for a moment, the paki film starts in the city of fucking darkness, where after sunset - or for that matter even during the daytime - you are never safe, anything can happen from any fucking where, and in the end the hero defeats the evil corporation responsible for the darkness and turns back on the lights only to find the inhabitants of the city have transformed into zombies infected with the K virus... this film could make a franchise bigger than start wars, and if the writers include the past of this place aswell, then we may have a decade worth of movies...

But then again gota get ready for the prayers, it getting late, and then, I mean whats with linear programming, does it have to be everywhere, I had to study so hard for that in module A in Ca, and its here to haunt be again :'(... but no problem ... I'll make a clever guessing technique 3:) that will make it work.. yea... and umm... lets see... this this this that... and I think am done for this post

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Madman and the Most Pathatic country

So, I read about budgeting and stuff, and I thought of practically applying it... so here I budget I prepared, its an initial budget of stuff, so expect it to be modified

Initial BUDGET for MADMAN, INC
 Description of work        Budget
       -do-                  -do-
       -do-                  -do-

Note: You don't need money to burn this place, its already gone to the dogs...

I mean seriously you don't need money to send this country to hell, I almost already there...
An independent study has ranked Pakistan has the 10th most failed state, this biased they say, and I agree, it is biasness.... this is bigotry, this is blasphemy... our great nation can never fail.... cause it failed a year after it was made in 1948 when we accepted American aid - it could have easily been labelled Bheeq.... We, us, our great nation can never fail... 

FYI: I don't care either way, the elites will eat it all away any way... so watdaell... 

I can't really focus, thats the issue, I sit down to study and I remember some work, I sit down to work and I remember something to study... there must be a cure for this...

Saturday, June 19, 2010

A Rhyme I Heard

Your sad, pathetic and blue,
If I gave a rat's ass, I'd care about U!!!


Thats worthy of a smile nw, aint it???