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Friday, July 20, 2012

I have decided... NOT

I will give the CSS exam hopefully. And then when I pass. I will become a bureaucrat. And if I do not pass. I may be contacted by someone saying how I was cheated out from what was rightfully mine by the right of being born. And yada yada blada blada. I got an email like this when I gave the IBA entry exam. I did join. Some Issues. But that email was fun. I may will get one like that in CSS. I do hope I do not. That is the issue. This is absolute mind-f****y. I cannot decide. I have never ever been able to decide. The lack of decisive power has dealt me a great deal of misery. From the wrong choice of hair style to actual real world problems. I kinda sorta hate it. But I do not do anything about it. It may be a problem with me. May be problem. Mental perhaps. Or Physical that manifests in lack of decisiveness. Girl I like. I can not for the death of me tell her. Girl I repulsively hate. I tell her I like her. Tie I love. I do not buy. Tie I hate I buy. I mean. What is wrong with me. Things I do not want to write about I write. Things I do want to write about I do not write. Instead of showing the world how narcissistic I am. I want to write my thoughts on the current world affairs. So that the future generations can know that. There were some people who knew that this is some fucked up shit. Off topic. The issue being. I cannot decide anything. I go out to eat. I cannot decide what to eat. I know this is some kind of an issue. I know I manifest ADD/ADHD symptoms. But just symptoms. Person with this cannot, simple CANNOT write a post this long at a stretch. Also, they cannot do tedious boring freelancing. Oh well. Erfindergeist I am.

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