You whats truly demotivating, its your ability to not be able to act. Even if you could act, your ability to not take a definitive decision is. Even if you could take a definitive decisions, your inability to consider the factors is. They all seem self defeating and self serving to me. It would appear that they do not serve any purpose other than to defeat themselves. I feel depressed, rather I don't feel it. I am always depressed. I had gotten used to it though. Now something has changed. I feel it always, looming around me. Although it does have its advantages. But it is becoming a bit too much to suffer through. It is taking its toll on me. I need a win. Just one would do you know.